Mixed Marriages and the Asian Bride

Having lived abroad in various Asian and Southbe close to in his own country? Women especially
East Asian countries for over fifteen years, Iseem to have a difficult time figuring out what
have some awareness of the challenge a mixeddrives men in this way.
Asian and Western marriage can face, especiallyI think I know why men look overseas,
when the bride is brought back to a Westernparticularly to Asian countries, when looking for a
country.wife. Without wanting to stereotype any race,
I was not married when I lived abroad, and as isand at least from my observations, Asian women
natural with youth, I ended up with an Asianare generally meeker, more willing to serve and
girlfriend more often than a western girl. I adoredplease, and often content with a husband who
my Asian girlfriends. They were warm, cheerfulprovides for them and their children than their
and had a delightful, innocent manner thatWestern, fiercely independent counterparts. Many
definitely charmed my heart in those days. Whenmen like those qualities in a woman, or at least
I was young the relationships were very simplethey think they do.
and uncomplicated. As I grew older however, andOf course, until you actually live with an Asian
my marrying potential grew, I found that whatwoman you really don't see the other side. They
had once been a casual relationship became muchcan be very jealous and suspicious, they have
more complex. Perhaps that's the same with anyalso been known to pretend love but marry only
budding relationship, the more deeply involved youfor a foreign citizenship and money. Many a man
become, the more issues you have to sorthas been duped out of a fair bit of his life savings
through. In my case, however, I believe that theby his new wife who promises him the world,
cultural differences and expectations aboutthen divorces him after a couple of years, taking
relationships added a new level of complexity.half of his property and savings with her. Not only
It's not that I haven't seen successful inter-culturaldo you marry the cute Asian woman, but you
relationships. I have, of course. One of my bestalso marry her entire family, or so it seems!
mates ended up with a lovely Malaysian wife, andAsians are very loyal to 'family', and you will be
they've been together now for over twentyexpected to be just as loyal and devoted if you
years, have three beautiful daughters, and amarry an Asian.
successful hardware business. With some of myI do understand certain men's yearning for a soft,
other friends who married Asian women, a fewmeek Asian wife. But I do think there's a fair
are still happily married and quite a few have splitdanger and you're taking a real risk ordering one
up--usually citing the cultural differences were tooon line. Holiday romances seldom seem to work
difficult to overcome, and often mentioning thatout either. If you're seriously considering taking an
honest, open communication was difficult toAsian bride, I'd suggest you go and work in
achieve.Thailand, or Malaysia or Vietnam, get to know
Yet today I see many advertisements on thepeople there, make friends, and then see what
internet, offering Asian brides or mail-order brides.develops. It's much more natural that way, and
What is it that causes a man to seek overseasyou can be sure that you're really getting what
for a bride, rather than finding a woman he canyou're looking for in a wife.