| Thailand - Dangers and Annoyances | | | | physical molestation of foreign women by Thai |
| Things don’t work too badly in Thailand, but | | | | men. They might annoy a Western woman by |
| they don’t work too well either. Visitors who | | | | proposing too many times, but they almost never |
| are still in ‘Western impatience mode’ will | | | | pose a danger. Women travelling alone should of |
| get annoyed by the often slow service, lack of | | | | course still be cautious. If she is sensible she has |
| attention and forgetfulness in all but the top | | | | nothing to fear. A number of women do come to |
| resorts, whilst those who have adjusted to the | | | | grief here, but almost always because they ignore |
| more laid-back attitudes here won’t let such | | | | the same elementary rules of self-protection that |
| generally minor inconveniences annoy them too | | | | they would take for granted in the West. |
| much. The standard of English isn’t that high, | | | | This is not paradise. Paradise is a silly concept |
| so doing anything slightly unusual (for example | | | | which is mostly a result of how the perceiver |
| ordering your club sandwich without tomato) can | | | | views his or her conditions. Most Thais are much |
| be difficult. Patience is essential. | | | | happier with the very little they have, because |
| Thailand is not at all a safety-conscious place: you | | | | they are taught from an early age that it is not |
| will see people juggling fire-sticks next to thatched | | | | happiness, but contentment, to which they should |
| roofs, builders teetering at the tops of wobbly | | | | aspire. Happiness is a fleeting condition, but |
| ladders and a motorbike being shared by three | | | | contentment is not. Many Westerners have used |
| people, ridden by a minor with no lights on a rainy | | | | Thai Theravada Buddhism as a springboard to |
| night and with the driver riding with only one hand, | | | | improved contentment, via ridding their lives of |
| whilst he chats on a phone clasped in the other. | | | | craving and attachment to impermanent |
| How these people manage to keep their bikes | | | | phenomena. |
| vertical most of the times is amazing: they | | | | It is extremely unlikely that you will have a |
| shouldn’t be on the street, they should be in | | | | problem with a snake unless you go hacking your |
| a circus. If, however, you are tempted to mock | | | | way through the jungle, but you might get bitten |
| or moan then consider that it is precisely this | | | | by a scorpion. |
| carefree attitude which makes Thais so lovable, | | | | A year ago I grabbed my shorts off the |
| so it’s pretty pointless to complain about their | | | | ‘floor-drobe’ and pulled them on. I knew it |
| laid-back attitude’s other effects. The biggest | | | | had been lazy of me not to hang them up the |
| danger to your health in Thailand is, by far, the | | | | previous night, but didn’t realise that they had |
| roads. Especially the motorbikes, on which tourists | | | | acquired an unwanted passenger. Twenty minutes |
| die pretty much every day. | | | | later I boarded a bus and, just as it pulled away, I |
| Many long-stay Western men come badly unstuck | | | | felt a stab of pain somewhere extremely tender. |
| in the country. Whatever problem they had back | | | | “God, what was that?” I thought before |
| home, whether it was drink, women or drugs, the | | | | rapidly realising that, a bit like a Victorian society |
| laisee faire attitude here reduces self-restraint and | | | | host, I had company downstairs. But what was I |
| causes many to behave worse than they did at | | | | to do about this, surrounded as I was by a |
| home, and in a way that makes it difficult to feel | | | | bus-load of people? I shouted for the bus driver |
| sympathy when they come to grief, as they | | | | to stop, but he didn’t hear me. Well, call me |
| often do. | | | | indiscrete, but faced with the alternatives of |
| Anybody who studies the geology of the matter | | | | either making myself a laughing stock or being |
| will have no fear of another tsunami. There will be | | | | bitten in the nether regions again, I pulled down |
| another one, but it will be triggered further south | | | | my shorts, stood up and shook the culprit loose. |
| on the fault-line and thus in a place where the bulk | | | | He turned out to be one of the little brown ones, |
| of the Indonesian island of Sumatra will shield the | | | | rather than the big black fellows. The smaller |
| Thai coast. Shortly after the December 2004 | | | | scorpions hurt you more, as they have venom, |
| tsunami, scientists predicted that the next | | | | whereas the bigger ones just rely on their |
| undersea earthquake would occur further south | | | | impressive-looking claws. The remainder of the |
| on the fault-line, which is what happened a year | | | | bus journey wasn’t very comfortable, both |
| later. The resulting tsunami didn’t touch | | | | because of an unpleasantly numb feeling in usually |
| Thailand and nor will the next one, which will occur | | | | the most sensitive of spots, but also because of |
| even further southeast and so even better | | | | the sidelong glances and barely concealed giggles |
| shielded by Sumatra. | | | | of the vehicle’s other occupants, who |
| One of the most admirable aspects of Thailand is | | | | seemed to find it amusing that I had to continually |
| the safety with which women can travel around | | | | cross, uncross and then re-cross my legs. |
| the country, due to the admirably low incidence of | | | | |